GUTOM at UHAW (2010)
This series of Marius Black was exhibited along side another artist, Tad Pagaduan with their two-man show BLACKENED WHITE in 2010 at Sigwada Gallery. The artworks tackles the struggles of being an artist or just being able to survive in general. Those silent moments when you are alone and full of doubts. Full of negative thoughts and thoughts of self harm. Marius describe the starving artist as “almost eating one’s self” he meant it figuratively and literally, as most artist have utterly given up seeing any monetary value from their work.
He recalls hearing about a story of a mother cutting off her leg to cook it and feed it to her children. Whether the article was real or not, this certain artist took not of it as he himself could relate. Of people not finding worth in his works, that he might be better off being fed to hungry people, or worse, cut himself and cook himself to feed himself.
But alas, the artist realizes that, one might not have to do that literally, just metaphorically in order to feed one’s self and others. We only have to serve ourselves. our struggles and stories can sustain others who are hungry for someone who can relate to their pain. Either fellow artists who see the works with struggles too, or people now who formerly struggled and became hungry, but now have fat bellies in their success. A reminder that, starving is not really the problem, but instead not knowing that, being hungry for wisdom to know how to hunt for food and passion, is.
Holy Shower Beautiful Shit
We had a group show last year entitled Vitamin Shit, it's about how we take medicine and drugs, legal or illegal, as placebo or not, working or not working or not really as medication. Stuff like cigarettes and high citrus juices we buy at the store. It's about that saying that when you take a dump, you should imagine the negative thoughts that's been plaguing you so that you get to shit the negativity out of your system. The show was about a lot of things, but for me it's about how we heal ourselves from past pain and injury, physically and spiritually.
One of the artworks I made was a self portrait entitled: Holy Shower Beautiful Shit. It's about my experience one time at work when I got angry with a fellow artist during a meeting with other artists and I almost snapped for some reason even I didn't understand. Later after cooling off, one of my artist friends, now my girlfriend, spoke to me and told me that I shouldn't treat elders like I did, that I should have more respect for them. And I really appreciated that "scolding" or advice from her that I eventually fell in love with her. :) But that talk with her made me realize that it was something I was doing that I wasn't aware of, and I have been calmer in approaching things ever since.
Later that night another artist friend of mine shared her smoke stash with me and we chilled for a bit and after that I took a bath. And when the water from the shower hit my face and body, I felt greatly relieved! It suddenly hit me that my short temper earlier was due to irritation because I haven't taken a bath that day yet. Some of the artists and I were staying at this place for a time in Palawan, we went there for a mural job and we were in waiting because the walls weren't ready to be painted yet. In short, some of us were frustrated because we had an exhibit coming forth, our artworks not yet finished back at our homes and we're sitting there waiting for the walls to finish as our time was being wasted where we could be finishing our artworks for our show.
So one day some of us just got really pissed off, to a point that we didn't even want to shower, the house we stayed in was close to the beach so some of us can go on about the day without showering. But I didn't realize that having not to shower for a day can affect your mood. And so going back to the time I was taking a shower, it hit me how important taking a bath was. I started to see something while my eyes were closed and the water hit my eyelids, I saw myself having wings, flying in the vastness of space, passing through stars and passing through tombstones overcoming life and death. I can only say I was experiencing some sort of enlightenment, of how something as simple as taking a bath is as important as being able to clean one's soul in a way that when we feel good and refreshed, we are more calm and less to scream at people.
I suddenly thought of Jesus being baptized by John the Baptist, of having to fully grasp the meaning of it. That we are baptized in water, our heads dipped into the lake and then are brought forth back up as baptized and maybe, it is just as a simple thing as the feeling of being refreshed. That we should at least experience a baptism in our lives so that we know how to take a bath. Back in Jesus' day, who knew if taking a bath was a thing, there were no pipes or faucets back then, maybe some people were even afraid of water then. Maybe being dirty is what makes people do bad shit, maybe being dirty is a sin to an extent. There's also a washing of the feet in the Bible isn't there? And as they say, cleanliness is next to Godliness right?
Maybe we can literally wash our sins by taking a bath. It came to me that Jesus' teachings are just simple ways of how to live, of how we should be able to reach heaven by just doing simple every day things like taking a bath or being good to one another, having to feel and accept love, and being able to love. All these things were flashing before me as I bathed, afterwards I felt really great and with a new understanding in life! So I decided to paint the vision I saw when I was taking a bath. Thus Holy Shower Beautiful Shit was made. I'll be doing a full coverage of our Vitamin Shit show back in 2015 soon so keep an eye for that!
For now, I hope you enjoyed this article, as I am glad I could finally share this experience and artwork of mine. I'll be taking a bath now! :)
Marius Black
Manila
11.30.2016
The artworks seen in this series we exhibited on two separate art shows in 2010 & 2015